Tuesday, July 24, 2007

Women's Razors

As perverted as you might think I am, I usually don't spend much time thinking about women's toiletries. But I recently came across a women's razor - and it baffled me that effort actually went into producing a new product line that's essentially a man's razor with the following minor differences:
  1. Larger, curvier handle: Does it really make that much of a difference? Some might argue that it suits the smaller, more delicate hands of a woman. But how about women with man-hands? It's an unfortunate condition - and we don't need to rub it in anymore.
  2. Gay name: Women's razors have super-gay names like Venus and Soleil. Guy's razors have super-macho names like Fusion and Mach 3. Can't we just pick something neutral? Like Pat or Jamie.
  3. Equally Gay color: Women's razors are pink or purple. But that's just reinforcing an age-old female stereotype. Which means that women's razors are sexist.
Given how easy it is to "feminize" something - I'm going to start pitching a new line of female toothbrushes. The Oral-B Fallopian will have a huge pink handle and purple bristles. Sweet - I'm going to be a zillionare.

Tuesday, July 17, 2007

Dramatic Prairie Dog

Besides the mainstay of barely legal porn, the latest internet craze is this short video of a prairie dog. But not just any prairie dog - this prairie dog set again dramatic music.

For some reason, this is the funniest 5 seconds I've seen since that PBS documentary on the male orgasm.

Tuesday, July 10, 2007

Condom Tester

Yes, it's true - YOU can actually be a condom tester! Well - you actually need to live in Australia, and you don't really get paid - but still, how awesome would it be to have "Condom Tester" on your resume? And if you did add it to your resume, imagine the action words you could use.

Durex Australia is selecting 200 eager men to become official testers for its new products. The position is unpaid, but testers will get free Durex condoms plus a bonus prize of $900 for one lucky winner. Responsibilities of the testers include reporting back on the feel and performance of the company's products and of course, finding a partner to test the products with. I was totally willing to relocate to Australia, but unfortunately my application was denied. Probably because I submitted a picture of my right hand.