Monday, February 22, 2010

The Third Bobsledder

In honor of the 2010 Winter Olympics (and mainly due to laziness), I'm re-posting something I posted from the last Winter Olympics. I've been told this was the pinnacle of The Lazy Asian. Before it started to suck.

The Olympic event I've been waiting for finally starts tomorrow - the exciting 4-Man Bobsled, or as the Eurotrash call it - Bobsleigh. Maybe this will be the event that finally boosts NBC's dismal TV ratings. And maybe Brian Boitano likes girls.

Of all the Winter Olympic events - this is the one that I actually have a shot at competing in. As long as I'm the Third Bobsledder. Because as the 3rd dude in the sled, you really don't have to do a thing. Seriously. The first guy drives the sled, the second guy backs up the first guy, and the last guy stops the sled at the end. The third guy - well, he just sits in the middle. Sure, he has to run along with everyone at the beginning - but with 2 guys in front, and 1 guy in back - he's pretty much covered. He's really more of a weight than an athlete. And if the team makes it to the podium, they ALL get a medal - even that 3rd guy in the middle who just came along for the ride.

The Third Bobsledder: a true champion of freeloading. If he wasn't in a bobsled, he'd be cheating the welfare system.