Paris Escapes Jail

Wow...Paris has done it again. First, she magically reduced her sentence in half for "good behavior". Yesterday she was sent home under house arrest for an undisclosed medical condition - spending only 3 days in jail for a 23 day sentence. Normally, I would feel sorry for someone who has the medical condition of having 10 STD's at the same time - but my compassion ends for spoiled, talentless quasi-celebrities.

Naturally, people everywhere are outraged that Paris is somehow "above the law". It's is a first for someone who is usually below a set of testicles.