Election Day

Happy Election Day! According to the latest statistics, less than 50% of you actually care. But you should. Because according to law, you're entitled to 2 hours off work today to vote. So take those 2 hours today to exercise your right as an American - and hang out at Starbucks for an extra latte.

I live in California - so on election day, we're not only voting for people, but also on hundreds of ridiculous Propositions and Measures. Which makes me wonder why we have elected officials in the first place - since apparently, they can't make the smallest decisions without asking everyone else first.

Here's how I'm going to vote:

Yes on Prop 54: Water coolers at all government buildings should switch from Sparkletts to Arrowhead.

No on Prop 33: The assistant traveling secretary to the assistant district attorney does NOT need to buy a new printer. He should just replace the ink cartridge.

Yes on Measure 2: Even though our Governor has an endoskeleton constructed from a hyperalloy, he still needs to walk through airport metal detectors.