The Postal Police

I was driving the other day and saw a police car behind me. Of course, I instinctively slowed down. Then the police car passed me - It was the freaking Postal Police.

What do the Postal Police actually do? Do they get badges? Do they call themselves postal policemen? And why the fuck do they get to have sirens on their cars? Catching the perv who steals his neighbor's Victoria Secret catalogs usually doesn't require urgency.

I bet real policemen give postal policemen shit. Real policemen probably use their guns to tease postal policemen - and the only thing postal policemen can do is look down embarrassingly at their holster letter openers.