Whitney and Bobby

After 14 years of marriage, The Greatest Love of All - namely - the love between Whitney Houston and Bobby Brown, have finally decided to call it quits. And by love, I mean the mutual bond that can only found between two retarded crack addicts.

Their separation was of course inevitable - but I'm still struggling to figure out who was actually worse for who. Whitney - once an iconic pop star, can now be easily confused with a skinny bag lady/drug whore who hangs outside the 7-11. And Bobby - his prerogative was apparently to get fat and do nothing at all - except occasionally beating up that bag lady/drug whore outside the 7-11.

Whitney's lawyer hasn't yet revealed the actual grounds for divorce in the legal filing, but whatever it is, I'm sure it's the biggest understatement in divorce history.