Paris Hilton's New Album

Paris Hilton's debut album is set to be released next week. Obviously, it's titled "Paris". I'm not sure exactly which part of the music store it'll be in - since there's usually not a section called Crap, but I'm sure it'll somehow make it to the Top Albums rack, next to NOW! That's Music Vol. 22 and that sappy-ass James Blunt CD.

Check out this picture of Paris' parents at the album launch party. The last time I saw smiles that fake was in a Polident commercial. I bet they thought this day would never come - the day when their daughter would grow up and finally do something with her life. And by something I mean making her parents hold up a gigantic picture of their daughter spreading her legs.