Friday, June 16, 2006

FEMA Fraud

In yet another example of why the "F" in FEMA should really stand for "fucked", a federal audit this week found that at least $1 billion in disaster relief paid by the Federal Emergency Management Agency was fraudulent. Apparently, the only thing people had to do was make up a name and social security number. Seriously. In some cases, they didn't even check.

A few examples of FEMA brilliance:
  • $1000 for a divorce lawyer
  • $200 for a bottle of champagne
  • $300 for "Girls Gone Wild" videos
  • $400 for adult erotica products
  • $600 in a strip club
Funny - I had no idea that Charlie Sheen lived in New Orleans.

Perhaps I can get FEMA to fund my own entertainment budget. It's pretty much the same as Mr. Sheen's except for the divorce lawyer. Plus, "Girls Gone Wild" just isn't dirty enough for me.


At 6:49 PM, Anonymous Chanakin said...

Girls Gone Wild. LMAO

They were too embarrassed to have it show up on their own credit card statement.

Now they're hoping for another storm so they can send them back.

At 9:48 PM, Blogger Cibbuano said...

Oooh, I guess I missed a deadline to put in a claim...

At 12:06 AM, Anonymous Chanakin said...

Didn't you post a review on Girls Gone Wild?

At 1:33 PM, Blogger Ben said...

I live in Houston. When the storm hit, and the Astodome was filled with refugees, the chicken restaurant next to the Dome experienced a 5000% increase in business.

I know this because I know the owner of the restaurant. He said that people were asking for so many empty cups that he had to start charging for them. First 25 cents. Then 50. Then a dollar. He was up to $2.00 per EMPTY cup before he figured out why people wanted them: To put alcohol into, to sneak it back into the Astrodome.

The restaurant was inside a supermarket. All the checkout lines at the market were empty except for one: The line for lotto tickets. That line was at least fourty people long.

FEMA money.


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