Chain-Smoking Monkey

A chain-smoking chimpanzee in China named Xiku has almost kicked his habit. That's right - a monkey that actually smokes. Finally, the missing link between primates and the Marlboro Man.

Xiku became addicted to smoking by mimicking the habits of humans during a career as a circus performer - marking yet another tobacco industry accomplishment: successfully crossing over into another species. And they didn't even need to spend a single dollar in marketing - the monkey just copied what his owners were doing. Interesting because I was actually thinking about getting a pet monkey myself. Probably a bad idea since we'd constantly be fighting over the PS2 and gonzo porn collection.

According to one of Xiku's zoo keepers:

"We sometimes gave him some sunflower seeds or a bottle of beer to help him shake off the addiction and visitors are no longer allowed to throw him cigarettes."

Lovely. Sunflower seeds and beer to cure a cigarette addiction. In a few weeks, he'll be beating his wife.