Paris Hilton's New Album

Here's further proof that America might be losing respect around the world: Paris Hilton is releasing an album later this year. According to Paris, the album will be a mix of reggae, pop, and hip-hop - marking the first time that Bobby Marley and Tupac will roll in their graves simultaneously.

Her first single will be a reggae song called "Stars Are Blind." Even without hearing it, you know it just sounds horrible already. And in yet another demonstration of her class and subtlety, the album will also include a remake of the song "Da Ya Think I'm Sexy?". My answer was NO when Rod Stewart sang it and I don't plan on changing my mind. Unless I suddenly develop an attraction to talentless whores.

Reflecting on her foray into music, Paris said:

"I have always had a voice and always known I could sing, but I was too shy to let it come out. I think that is the hardest thing you can do, to sing in front of people. When I finally let go and did it, I realized it is what I am most talented at and what I love to do the most."

I'm not exactly sure how Paris defines "talented", but I'm guessing it means the same as "majorly suck" for us normal people.