Cinco de Mayo

Happy Cinco de Mayo! Yet another excuse for Americans to get drunk and celebrate a holiday that has nothing to do at all with their country.

In fact, many people don't know what they're actually celebrating on Cinco de Mayo - but from what I've heard, it's easy to find meaning in a bottle of Cuervo. Contrary to popular belief, it has absolutely NOTHING to do with Mexican Independence. So you're not as smart as you think.

The holiday actually celebrates Mexico's victory over the French army in 1862, when the French were attempting to occupy Mexico City in response to Mexico's refusal to pay its debt. Kind of a strange thing to celebrate don't you think? Last October 8th, I defaulted on my mortgage and shot the guy from DiTech.com who was trying to reclaim my house. You don't see me celebrating Ocho de Octubre.

And why do they call it "Cinco de Mayo"? Maybe I'm just a super-creative person (that's what my 2nd grade teacher told me), but I think I could come up with a name other than the actual day of the year. Everyone likes to make fun of the French - so why not call it: Spanko de Frencho? Or Bastardos de Frencho? Or better yet: The French Really Suck at Fighting Day.