Wednesday, May 03, 2006

Carl's Jr. Food Engineers

Carl's Jr. is a fast food chain here on the West Coast (for those on the East Coast, it's the same as Hardee's). And besides being a restaurant, it's also a good place to go if you're trying to kill yourself.

The latest culinary heart-attack being touted by Carl's Jr. is the Steak and Egg Burrito - joining other items in their breakfast menu such as the Loaded Breakfast Burrito (because damnit - sometimes steak and eggs just aren't enough), and the super-awesome Breakfast Burger (pictured) - consisting of a charbroiled all-beef patty, fried egg, crisp bacon, hash browns (yes, hash browns), cheese, and ketchup - all on a sesame seed bun. Just writing that makes me feel like vomiting. And I haven't even gotten to the lunch menu.

Which leads me to ask - what the hell do Carl's Jr. food engineers do? I bet their jobs are pretty damn easy. While other fast food chains like McDonald's research new ways to make their menu healthier in response to public demand - these guys just write down the worst possible foods they can think of, tape them to a door, and throw darts blindfolded. Then they multiply everything by two.

I don't know who Carl Jr. is - but I'm shocked that Carl Senior lived long enough to have a child.

6 Comments:

At 12:57 PM, Anonymous Chanakin said...

Yet Micky D's is the only target in everyone's sites...

That concoction is exactly why I stick to sliders and Mexi-melts.

 
At 4:55 PM, Blogger Cibbuano said...

Once, before a big party, some friends of mine decided to hit the Triple Burger at Wendy's. It was so much meat and grease that they all got nauseous and we didn't go to the party after all..

 
At 8:21 PM, Blogger D to tha L I C T said...

Reading about those burgers kinda makes me wish there was Carl's Jr. in Canada.

The US really owns fastfood. When I was down in LA, the mexican fastfood there was killer good.

 
At 10:33 PM, Blogger odderie said...

I swear I read somewhere that Carl's Jr.'s actual marketing strategy really was specifically to do the COMPLETE opposite of all the healthful trends in fast food (i.e. offer the worst foods possible).

I shit you not.

 
At 4:31 PM, Blogger Cibbuano said...

yeah, American fast food seems like a dream... so many choices, so many ridiculous choices...


I heard about a fast-food cereal joint... awesome!

 
At 1:21 PM, Blogger odderie said...

Cibbuano, not sure if this is what you're talking about, but there's a place in Chicago called "Cereality" that is a fast food cereal place that is kinda bar/club-ish at night.

 

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