Tori Spelling

If you've been desperate for entertainment, you may have caught last week's premiere of Tori Spelling's new show, "So NoTORIous" on VH1 - the same channel that brought us such time-wasters as the entire "Top 40 [Something] of All Time" series.

In her new show, Tori basically mocks herself. She plays a spoiled and talentless actress who makes her dog look ridiculous with doggie outfits. Not much of a stretch for her - but then again, with daddy around, she really hasn't had to stretch all her life - except for her cleavage to accommodate those horrendous looking breasts.

Tori - please stop trying to make yourself look better through artificial means. Sooner or later, you'll have to accept that you look funny and have buggy eyes just like your dad. Except that your dad is smart.

And please stop trying to deny that your dad helped get you on 90210. When you tried to go out on your own, you starred in 5 failed TV pilots and countless Lifetime Channel Movies of the Week playing a victimized women who's too stupid to leave her abusive man. I know this is so wrong to say - but in at least one of those movies, it would've been nice to see her stay in the relationship.

Talking about her new self-mocking show, Tori said:

"I've heard it all ... I'’d rather be making the joke than other people making it. So why not?"”

Sure Tori - people are laughing with you now. But that's only because you've started to laugh at yourself. Technically, we're still laughing at you. So nothing's changed. You still suck.