Tom Cruise's Beneficiaries

Ever since Tom Cruise started revealing to the world that he's really psycho - it's been so easy to make fun of him. Now that he and "wife" Katie Holmes finally had their baby yesterday, it gets even easier. But late-night talkshow hosts and comedians aren't the only group that will benefit. There's another important group -- I'm talking about Aliens.

That's right. Aliens haven't had a lot of press recently - especially positive press. Movies usually portray them as evil creatures who want to take over the world, and feel-good alien shows like Alf and Third Rock have been off the air for a while. But with Tom Cruise being a creepy Scientologist, Katie being a brain-washed reproductive host, and both finally introducing their spawn to the world after a 9-month gestation period - thousands of TomKat-Alien jokes will now be told.

Now I admit, being linked to Tom Cruise isn't exactly the most positive association. But it's better than nothing at all. After all, if I was an alien today, I'd take any publicity I could get. In this new media environment with MySpace, iPods, and TiVo - you can't just abduct someone in Nebraska and expect the same level of attention.