Shakira's Hips

Shakira has nice hips. And apparently, they don't lie. Her latest single "Hips Don'’t Lie" has been steadily climbing the Billboard chart for the past 5 weeks.

But it's really a stupid song if you think about it. Because of course her hips don't lie. My hips have never spoken to me, let alone lie to me. In fact, I don't think anybody's hips are capable of falsehood. So why does she need to sing a song to point that out?

Probably because she has nice hips and she wants to world to know by singing about them. I get it Shakira - you've got nice hips. Really nice. Even if they were somehow lying, I'd forgive them. But it's just plain lazy to sing about something that so obviously describes your best feature. I don‚’t hear Dolly Parton singing “"My Boobs are Huge", or Kylie Minogue singing "My Ass is Tight", or Christina Aguilera singing "I'm a Dirty Whore".

If you want to impress us, sing about something we don't know - something that reveals your inner vulnerabilities and insecuritiess to make you more relatable to regular people. Something like: "I Look Bad in the Morning", or "My Shit Stinks Too".