Thursday, April 06, 2006

Haiku Poems

Japanese people are usually pretty hard working people - after all, they're Asian. They're generally known for their advanced consumer electronics, reliable automobilies, and incredibly perverse but well-thought out porno. But this Haiku poem they invented is just flat-out lazy. Haikus are short and easy -- just like how American servicemen view Japanese women.

A typical 17 syllable Haiku poem is structured in a 5 / 7 / 5 form. That might sound technical, but it's really not. A typical 8-year-old can write one. That's why they teach Haiku to school children. And that's why no one other than school children should be praised for writing one.

Unless you're stupid (un-less you're stu-pid) (5)
Or the U.S. President (or the U-S Pres-sid-dent) (7)
You can write Haiku (you can write Hai-ku) (5)

Pretty straightforward right? Let's try some more:

I wear bowling shoes
Some guy sprays them when I'm done
My feet are rancid

Wow, this is kind of fun:

This is the first verse
I like to repeat myself
This is the first verse

Okay, just one more. I promise:

The Lazy Asian
Celebrating success through
minimal effort

HOLY CRAP. That's Twlight Zone crazy.


At 1:51 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...


At 2:58 PM, Anonymous Chanakin said...

Funny funny stuff
I messed myself reading it
Now I go change pants

At 4:48 PM, Anonymous ProudMary said...

finally! about time you said a cuss word up in heyah.

(incidentally-- this was hilarious.)

At 6:52 PM, Blogger Cibbuano said...

Haikus can be hilarious when they're just spewed out - it's when people take them seriously that I roll my eyes.

At 3:00 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

How do I love thee
[Your 3 syllable full name*], the Chinese** whore
You are a genius!

* Identity to protect the not-so-innocent.
** Not meant to be a racial slur... just stating the facts.

At 3:05 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...


Blame it on the headrush I got from writing my haiku:

I meant to say: "Identity HIDDEN to protect the oh-so-perverted."

I'm "anonymous" b/c I'm too lazy to start a blog of my own.

p.s. I'm glad the cucarachas didn't burn our place down last nite :P

At 12:37 PM, Blogger odderie said...

Finally someone who recognizes how completely ridiculous the haiku is!!

I love your blog, by the way. One of the few great things about being Asian is being able to make fun of Asians with impunity. :)

By the way, I blogged about "Gay Haiku" late last year. Check out the clip:

At 8:10 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I don't know if it's just me or if everybody else encountering problems with your site.
It appears like some of the written text within your posts
are running off the screen. Can somebody else please comment and let me
know if this is happening to them too? This could be a issue with my web browser because I've had this happen before. Thank you

Also visit my page; New York


Post a Comment

<< Home