Tuesday, March 07, 2006

Joan and Melissa Rivers

I live in Los Angeles - so even though the Academy Awards ended two days ago, people in this town are still stroking themselves off over the show. Nobody more so than the most irrelevant people in the world - those who make a living by criticizing red-carpet fashion.

The most notorious of these society deadweights are Joan Rivers - living proof that aliens exist - and Melissa Rivers - living proof that aliens can reproduce. The most annoying mother/daughter combination in the history of mothers and daughters somehow scammed their way to being the ultimate source for Oscar fashion editorial. Pretty amazing considering that the only piece of clothing they would both look good in is a ski-mask. Ouch - that was mean. But seriously, when you reach a certain level of obnoxiousness, etiquette really isn't an issue.

For the sake of humanity, I hope they hurry up with their gig and immediately return to their glass house - where they'll regress back to larvae form, hibernate in their cocoons, and unfortunately re-emerge after a 12-month gestation period.

5 Comments:

At 1:39 PM, Anonymous Hermosa Beach Drunks said...

What gives?!? Joan Rivers is actually pretty funny. She may look like an alien, but she's a legit comedian. This happens to be her current gig, but she has plenty of cred from stand-up and guest hosting The Tonight Show back in the day. She is nothing like your girl Melissa Menudo (whatever her name is) or you boy Billy Bush who have literally done nothing else than be entertainment news "correspondents".

 
At 2:03 PM, Anonymous steve said...

dude...I believe you're referring to Maria Menounos - who is smokin hot. And apparently, she's quite intelligent. I'd take her as my girl anytime

 
At 2:10 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

yo hermosa - are you smokin crack? Maria is actually pretty talented. And you should really get the names right if you're going to diss. I take her over that freak show Joan Rivers any day.

 
At 2:50 PM, Anonymous naomi said...

Hermosa Beach Drunks - even though you claim that Joan Rivers has cred, what the heck is she doing commenting on fashion? I'm with the Asian on this one...

 
At 6:34 AM, Anonymous Chanakin said...

Joan's one face lift from a beard, and Melissa's as talented as a dinner fork.

 

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