Thursday, March 23, 2006

Bush's Slogan Writer

Notice how President Bush likes to make speeches in front of really big signs? These signs usually have some slogan. And these slogans are usually pretty retarded:

- Plan For Victory
- Mission Accomplished

First, why does there seem to be a constant need for the Bush Administration to use slogans to explain their policies? Second, why do their policies sound like Steven Segal movies?

And imagine - there's a dude out there who passed 4th grade English that actually comes up with this shit. How difficult could the job be? I did some research and discovered that the slogans actually have to adhere to some strict guidelines set by the President himself: A) Make sure they sound decisive, B) Make sure they're under 5 syllables for ease of pronunciation, and C) lie.

If I was a Presidential slogan writer, I'd scrap the generic and ambiguous language and try to connect more with the youth of today by incorporating acronyms and emoticons. Some examples:

- Vision 4 2morrow
- Gaining Respect Around the World (LOL)
- IMHO: Flat Taxes for the Future
- I Did Not Have Sexual Relations ;-)


At 10:42 AM, Anonymous hermosa beach drunks said...


At 12:00 PM, Anonymous ProudMary said...

"Gaining Respect Around the World (LOL)"

- some of your best stuff yet! (rotf) (lmao)

At 7:04 PM, Anonymous Chanakin said...




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