Thursday, February 16, 2006

Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue Cover


This year'’s Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue hit newsstands this week. According to Mark Ford, the president and publisher of SI, it'’s the most widely read single issue of any magazine in the world -- largely due to the fact that it'’s the most widely used masturbatory aid for boys 15 and under.

Check out the cover. Back in the day, the editors toiled for weeks upon weeks - trying to precisely target that perfect girl who, for an entire year, would represent the ultimate in unattainability. Then, in 1994 they cheated a bit and put three girls on the cover. In 1996 they put two. This year, they'’ve opted to carpet bomb the cover with EIGHT.

What a cop-out. It'’s like Playboy picking all twelve girls to be Playmate of the Year. Or just as equally obvious - picking me and all of my human clones to be People magazine's sexiest man alive. With so much to choose from, there's bound to be something you'll like. Much like a Chinese buffet - minus the dog.

Okay, I'll admit -- you won't have to twist my arm - I'm still going to buy the issue. In fact, I'’m heading out to pick up my copy now. I'm so excited - I feel like a 15-year old again. So seriously, don't twist my arm. Because I'm going to need it.

5 Comments:

At 2:47 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

imagine the catfights during this photo shoot... glorious

 
At 6:01 PM, Anonymous C.M.Chase said...

Go get 'em, Lazy A. More 'vast experience' for your collection.

 
At 7:15 PM, Anonymous Hermosa Beach Drunks said...

What's up with White people anyway?

 
At 11:01 PM, Blogger SadieMBeagle said...

Meh, breasts. I see them every day...

 
At 11:08 AM, Anonymous 2 Copies said...

LA, I know you always buy two copies. One ends up crusiter than week old peice of bread left out on the counter while the other goes into your uber secure safety deposit box along with those from the past 20 years.

 

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