Monday, February 27, 2006

The Beer Institute

There's a very random TV commercial currently airing that features people from different countries saying "Cheers" in different languages. It's not from Budweiser, Coors, or even America's finest - Pabst Blue Ribbon. It's actually a commercial from the Beer Institute. Yes, there's an institute for beer - and its mission is to represent and promote the beer industry. Because dammit - Americans just aren't drinking enough beer.

I bet being CEO of the Beer Institute is a pretty awesome job. I would sit in my sweet office and spend the entire day pimping out my MySpace profile and IM'ing my friends funny links. Meanwhile, my fellow Americans will have consumed 20 million gallons of beer in one day. Another day, another job well done.

If you happen to be from the Beer Institute and you're reading this, please contact me immediately. I have some great business ideas for you. How about a Rice Institute in China? Or a Bagel Institute in New York? Or better yet, a Douchebag Institute in Los Angeles? My research shows that the growth potential for redundant institutes is phenomenal.


At 1:38 PM, Anonymous Hermosa Beach Drunks said...

I can't figure out if this lobbying group is in place to avoid the pitfalls suffered by the cigarette industry (not that anyone actually wants to ban beer) or to dispel the myths that all drinks are created equally (e.g., that a martini has MORE alcohol content than the relatively benign -even soda like- beer).

At 2:22 PM, Anonymous FANTASTIC said...

Once again the Lazy Asian has taken it to the next level. You rock the blog.

At 4:14 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

"Douchebag Institute in Los Angeles"... brilliant.

At 5:16 PM, Blogger ProudMary said...

"a Douchebag Institute in Los Angeles--" beautiful.

At 6:03 PM, Anonymous Chanakin said...


They shot themselves in the foot by showing the "Alcohol Content Disparaties Between Hard Liquor Drinks and Beer" chart on their site.

Think I'll have myself a Mohito or four.

At 6:14 PM, Anonymous MonkeyBrain said...

You rock! This site cracks me up. Thanks for giving Asians everywhere a bad name, =).

At 10:09 PM, Blogger Flummoxed Phalange said...

Wow! I LOL'd my way through :)


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