Thursday, January 12, 2006

Koala Bears

Sure, they’re cute and cuddly, but they’re also the laziest freakin animals in the whole animal kingdom. That’s a scientific fact. Koala Bears sleep for up to 19 hours per day and spend their waking hours eating ONLY eucalyptus leaves. Considering how little they do already, you would at least expect them to try adding some variety to their meals.

Despite their pothead way of life, Koala Bears have achieved tremendous recognition. They’ve inspired thousands of stuffed animals, cruel costumes, and those stupid things people put on the end of pencils. Along with the Kangaroo, they're the flagship animal of not only an entire country - but an entire continent. And Kangaroos work a lot harder if you consider all that jumping they do. If I was a Kangaroo, I’d be pissed.

Just in case you were wondering, “laziest freakin” is indeed a scientific term.


At 9:59 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

dude, what do you have against potheads?

At 11:41 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

You're obviously jealous of these leisure-oriented animals.

At 9:22 AM, Anonymous SLA said...

As a founding member of SLA (Sloth Lovers of America), I think you need to reevaluate your comments. Kolalas run circles around sloths.

At 1:59 PM, Anonymous Coral Plumtree said...

well i think we'd all be that slow too if we only survived on a diet of a few leaves a day, gum leaves at that ... ewwwch


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