Celebrity Sex Videos

Last week, a Los Angeles judge set July 17 as the trial date for Colin Farrell's lawsuit against his ex-Playmate/girlfriend to block her from releasing a videotaped sex romp. The salty details of the video are still unclear, but one thing is certain - if it ever hits the market, it'll be a guaranteed success - despite the fact that it'll most definitely suck. Celebrity sex videos usually end up being lazily shot films with grainy pictures, poor production quality, and less than "ideal" camera angles.

For the record - I have not seen any celebrity sex videos. Off the record - I have a special folder for them on my windows desktop. Here are my brief reviews of some notable videos:

Tonia Harding: It's Tonia Harding. One of the few times in your life when you won't value your eyesight.
R. Kelly: Ignores the "legal" part of "Barely Legal".
Pamela Anderson: Shot aboard a boat and the camera kept rocking back and forth. Gave me a headache.
Paris Hilton: Actually kinda enjoyed this one. Will be remembered as her best and only contribution to society. Eagerly awaiting sequel.